My boyfriend and I have a wonderful relationship or shall I say, I thought we did. We have been dating for 3 years and live together. About 2 months ago my boyfriend had a late night out and came home drunk. The next few days he acted distant towards me. In my gut I knew something was off. Although he returned to his normal self within the week, I caught him in multiple lies. So what did I do, I went through his phone. I’ll make a very long story short. I found out he left the bar with another female. He went back to her place and had a one night stand with a stranger. Saying that I’m heart broken is an understatement.
After I gathered all of the evidence and presented it to him, he finally admitted to the one night stand. He stated he had no contact with the female after. He has shown remorse. He keeps telling me it will never happen again,he wants to be with me and marry me. I’m so confused, heartbroken and don’t know what to do. He said it happened because he was so drunk. I don’t know if I can accept the fact that he got so drunk he couldn’t keep his junk in his pants. Is this a legitimate excuse? I love him dearly but I don’t know what to think or what to do.
Comment:
Stefswife:
Why does everyone think that being drunk is an acceptable reason to cheat???? IT’S NOT!! And if you don’t have enough control to not get so drunk that you have no control over yourself and able to make sound decisions, then it’s time to stop drinking. What happens the next time he gets really drunk?? From this point forward, every time he goes out without you to drink this is all you’re going to be thinking about. And did he explain why he didn’t admit that he cheated on you after it happened?
Cheating overall sucks and is almost never forgivable (in my opinion)BUT coming clean immediately and expressing guilt is way better than trying to keep it a dirty little secret. The hiding of it somehow makes it worse.
Wellman81:
Being drunk is never an excuse. Point is, he willingly put himself in a position to cheat and took the opportunity without a single thought of you and the consequences. It would have been ‘somewhat’ easier if he had confessed immediately after, but he didn’t and never intended to tell you until he was called out. Your boyfriend just proved to you that he is untrustworthy.
My advice? Take a break from the relationship and separate for a time. Let him know that you will not be in contact with him except for financial reasons when applicable. If he begs and pleads for another chance, then tell him he can maybe earn his place back into your life later down the road. But for now, you need space away from him. Sorry OP. Sometimes relationships run their course.
klbret4
You don’t move forward with this guy. You cut him out of your life and move on. He has her name and number in his phone for a reason. Just curious was marriage mentioned before he cheated on you or after he was confronted with his scumbag ways?