A woman and her daughters were sick of her daughter-in-law hindering their enjoyment of girls’ trips and began excluding the young woman from things because of it. The woman wanted to know if she was wrong.
A mother to three daughters shared that she and her daughters enjoyed going on girl’s trips often. They would go to the mall or do other things without the men in the family. The woman’s son then got married to a woman named Beth.
The woman included Beth on the girl’s trips because she had become part of the family. However, after she had a child, it became difficult for the woman to include Beth because it hindered their fun.
The woman talked about how she and her daughters would go on girls’ trips, saying: “I have three girls, and we still like to do girl trips for the day. My son got married to a girl named Beth. Her only kid is 8 years old at this point, and she hasn’t lost the weight.”
Why Did Beth Hinder Their Enjoyment?
Although Beth was of average weight before she had her child, since she had not lost her baby weight, it had become difficult to take her on girls’ trips with her three daughters like they used to.
She said that because of Beth’s weight, she needed constant breaks when walking around. The woman admitted that she used to like her daughter-in-law but didn’t anymore because of her attitude. She admitted:
“I used to like Beth and took her on our trips a lot of times. Recently, I invited the girls to go to a farm for pumpkin patch and pick some apples. We went, it was a great time, and some pictures went on Facebook. I got a call from Beth asking why she wasn’t invited.”
The woman explained to the readers that she hadn’t invited Beth because they would have had to take constant breaks while walking around the extensive orchards. She also shared that Beth had wanted to sit on a bench most of the day on their last trip to the mall.
When the woman got the call from Beth to ask why she hadn’t been invited to the trip to the orchards, the woman lied and told Beth it was just a family trip. However, Beth called the woman out on her lying.
The woman then told Beth that she hadn’t been invited due to her weight and the fact that she forced them to stop often and ruined their girls’ trips as they didn’t get to do things they wanted to because Beth needed to sit down.
Beth was horrified, called the woman a “jerk,” and then hung up. The woman’s son then began texting her, telling her she had to apologize to Beth, but the woman’s daughters were on her side, saying they were sick of their trips being ruined by Beth.
The woman then asked Reddit users for their unbiased opinions on her post about whether or not she was wrong for excluding her daughter-in-law from family activities due to her weight.
What Did Reddit Users Say?
While some people thought the woman was wrong for excluding her daughter-in-law, many told her she had done the right thing and needed to phrase it better.
One person said they would be annoyed by anyone who asked why they were not invited to something, especially if they wanted to do something special with their daughters. The person said Beth pushed too hard, and the woman pushed back, which was understandable.
The person added that when you are not invited somewhere, chances are that the reason is not a good one, and Beth should have accepted the kind answer her mother-in-law gave her rather than accusing her of lying.
Another person said Beth should be okay with not being included in things that were too physically taxing for her or find something that helped her move with the group more easily. The person also hoped that when the woman included Beth, she would choose things that wouldn’t require too much physical fitness.
The same person said they thought Beth’s attitude rather than her fitness level would be the things that excluded her from activities with the family in the future. One person who had gained weight said they opted out of activities if they knew a lot of physicality would be involved.
While the person understood that Beth might not be comfortable doing everything, they said she should use her common sense about which invitations to accept from her mother-in-law and which to decline.
One person told the woman that while she was not wrong for excluding Beth, she should have phrased it better so Beth didn’t feel bad about herself. The person suggested framing it as them caring for Beth rather than anything else.
Although one person thought it was not wrong of the woman to exclude Beth, they did believe it was wrong to lie to her about why she was being excluded. The person clarified:
“It’s because they go at different paces, and she complains about it. The cause may be far more than her weight.”
One person advocated for Beth, saying the issue wasn’t her weight but her fitness. The commenter noted that she could be physically fit and still be overweight, and the woman needed to assess if she was upset by Beth’s weight or her fitness.